The Beginning Of The End
by Damaged-Scene
Summary: He never says a single word to her for the next three years but every album they put out in that time span, the 'thank you' section always has "I'm so sorry, my friend" written in it. And even then, he never does the right thing. Naitlyn oneshot.


_You're never going to say what I want to hear._

It's been this way since she can remember, actually. It's always been him and _her,_ and she would tag along when she's forced to. It isn't really disturbing or heart-wrenching(yes, it is) to her, but it hurts, you know? She's loved him since they were both first-years together. And for five years, it never mattered how close they were, how much she would change. It all stayed the same. He would have a beautiful, model-potential girlfriend and she was the loser best friend.

And she just knows that if the roles were reversed and she was the one dating the rival's daughter(or well, son in her case), he would yell in her face or shake his head in disappointment(she always cries when he does that) because _you should know better, Cait_. But she doesn't say a single thing to him. She knows how much love means to him and he is her best friend but really, she's pretty sure he doesn't know love. He says he loves this girl and that girl and her and her but he doesn't.

She just wants to scream and yell in his face. Say_, "You don't love anyone! Love is sitting back and watching your best friend try to find it. Love is never wanting to ruin their happiness. Love is sacrifice, love is rejection. You do all that to one of your loves and then get back to me but right now, I know I love you and I know you'll never, ever do the same."_

But she doesn't. She sits on the odd third chair in the restaurant or lingers behind at a rock concert because that's what love is. Love is giving up your happiness to save someone else's. And she really does love him. She wants the best for him and maybe Dana is that, maybe Dana is the one(but then again, maybe she's another doodled name in a notebook that he doesn't think she knows about) and if she finally protests, he'll never have love. That's what always stops it when they really turn out to be the one, and who is she to stop it? She's not psychic(but she's always right) and it's never her right to stop it.

"Hey, are you okay?" The one person she doesn't want to see right now has to come. She doesn't look up, she doesn't even acknowledge he's there because the heavy pain in her chest is too much to bare lately. It gets harder each day, seeing their happy smiles and stolen kisses and embraces. She wants to move on, she wants to find another boy to stare at when he's not looking and maybe he will look back and not just squeeze the girl next to him's hand. She sniffles quietly and just stare at the ground below, a patch of dry dirt right next to his feet. It's weird because there's grass everywhere until that single patch of dry dirt.

Maybe the grass got tired of pretending and just died out. Or maybe the grass next to it never noticed that the former grass was in love with it and it just left.

"Your mom and dad fighting again?" She tears her eyes away from the dirt and to him, glaring with all the fury she can muster. He knows that's a sensitive topic, he knows her family is falling apart. And yet, he goes there like it's nothing to talk about. She glares still, wishing she could just storm out and never see him again.

Things are never that simple.

"So that's not it, huh?" He says after a while and she just swings her jean-clad legs around, the branch she's sitting on shaking under the pressure. It was a little scary when she first got up here but surprisingly, this branch could hold like, three Shane Grays. She just looks away and her mind, the bitter, heartbroken part, smirks._ I guess, Dana is in class, huh? Probably why he came over. Second choice. _"Whatever I did, I'm sorry." He offers and you know what? That's probably the worst thing he can say right now. He's practically implying he's innocent but for argument's sake, he's just going to agree with her.

"It's what you don't say." Her voice is hoarse and it sounds like she's been crying but she never cries. It's a policy she made up when her brother died. Crying doesn't do a thing for her and all it does is make her seem weak. "And I know you won't say it so let's just skip to the part where Dana's class is over and you walk away," She kind of adds bitterly at the end, eyes glazing over as she stares at nothing.

"So that's what this is about?" He's annoyed, she can tell. "You're jealous that I'm ditching you, right? You're my best fr-" She's had enough, she finally looks down at him, eyes blurry.

"That's it! That's all I'll ever be to you. A best friend. Just a girl that stands by you through everything. Oh no, let's not consider her feelings when you have five girlfriends in one year. It's not like she loves you," She bites out the last part, scowling and tears threatening to fall. She forces them back.

"Wait, you l-"

"And all you do is date these models and singers and actresses and rivals," She hisses that last word. "And you say that you love them but you don't. I know that I love you. I have since we were both 12 years old and hid in this tree instead of going to the Mess Hall. I've sacrificed my happiness for yours. I've never even tried to talk to you about this because I knew it would just make you upset. I know you don't love me, I know you probably never will. And I oh so badly want you to because for so long, I haven't been happy, Nate. So just go away, don't talk to me again because if you don't, I'll move on. If you're my friend, you'll do that for me." She closes her eyes and wait for the footsteps but they never come.

"I'm sorry, Cait." She winces at the nickname. "I don't love you like that. I'm so sorry." And then she hears a sigh and then the footsteps finally echo in the woods and that's it. He's gone. He's out of her life but she doesn't feel happy.

She never sees him again after that. He avoids her and she avoids him. No one asks why. The first day they don't speak to each other, Shane shares a questioning look with everyone else but it's never said. It doesn't need to be. They weren't happy being friends.

Well, she wasn't.

And it still hurts but it's a dull pain, the kind you get when you stump your toe or burst your arm. It only hurts under pressure. Pressure like, him and her walking near each other.

He never says a single word to her for the next three years but every album they put out in that time span, the 'thank you' section always has "I'm so sorry, my friend" written in it. And even then, he never does the right thing.

When they're both adults and engaged, they'll meet again at an after-party of an award show. And there, he'll finally tell her something she never knew. "All my girlfriends, Cait, they were all so inferior when it came to you. But every single time, it occurred to me that we could try dating, I put it off. You were like my sister, Cait. And I'm so sorry, so very sorry, you wasted your teenage years on me. I wasn't worth it."

She says one small thing that will always hang in their minds until they die.

"Even as an adult, Nate, you're never going to say what I want to hear."


End file.
